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Making a Relationship Last
The first few years of a romantic relationship can be both bitter and sweet. I say it can be bitter because this is the time of uncertainty. The couple is just getting to know each other and their differences and insecurities can cause several love quarrels. Of course, the first few years are also the sweetest years because the first two years are still part of the courtship stage of a relationship. This is the time of P.D.A.s or Pubic Display of Affection. This is the time of constant saying of "I love you" and "I miss you" even if you have just seen each other a few hours ago. It is much more difficult for people who've met through online dating sites and would have to keep a long distance relationship. No matter how in love you both are at the beginning, everybody knows that this stage does not last forever. Changes will happen eventually that will make your relationship a bit less perfect as it seemed to be when it started. On the other hand, we shouldn't take this as it is and let nature take its course as the love in your relationship fades away. There are ways in making a relationship last.
If you are not in a relationship yet and would want to be in a lasting relationship, you have to be keen in choosing a mate. Although they say that you can't choose the one you will fall in love with, you can always choose your dates wisely, right? Do not expose yourself to people who may not be a proper potential life partner. Smart people have control over their emotions and know that they should think first before acting on any irrational emotion. That is why the brain was put over the heart, as my mother always says. Anyway, there are a lot of things to consider in choosing a partner who has the potential to be someone to spend the rest of your life with.
First off, although it sounds shallow but the physical is the first thing to consider. Does your potential partner have good genes? Do they have any deadly or congenital disease in the family? This is significant because these are traits that can be passed on to your children and an ailment you will have to live with when you are older. Also, look at the parents of your mate. In the end, he or she will end up looking like one of the parents. Is that someone you want to be with to the end? The next aspect is attitude. There are many good traits, but the ones you have to look out for are honesty, loyalty, kindness and being responsible. If he or she shows lack of any of these traits even in the smallest situations, it is best to look elsewhere. Lastly, you should develop a strong friendship with your mate. Love and romance may die, but friendship stays there even through arguments and disagreements. Of course let us add the one thing that can make the first things I've said mean nothing at all....love. Do you love the person enough to care less about his flaws? If your answer is "Yes" then go for it.
If you have found your partner or have been in a relationship for some time now, any life coach or counsellor would tell you to communicate well with each other. Honesty is the best policy. Never keep a secret from each other. It is unhealthy and the feeling of guilt will make you paranoid that your partner is keeping something from you too. If you are unsure or suspect something, ask questions in a nice way. Don't accuse your partner; instead clarify things to clear your doubts. Always be nice and also learn to listen to what your partner has to say. Do not get your emotions get the best of you. Be calm and think before you speak. If you have no proof, you have no right to be angry, so chill. If there is no problem or doubt, you should also learn to communicate positively. Always assure your partner of your affection. Compliment sincerely.
Flirt and flatter to keep the spice in your communication. Share your ideas and your dreams for both of you. Let your partner know that he or she is in your plans for the future. Ask about his or her work or hobbies. Show interest in the things he or she likes. Find something interesting to talk about. Above all remember to say the simple but important phrases everyday such as "I love you," "I am sorry," "good morning," "good night" and "I miss you."
One more way to keep your relationship alive is to always celebrate special occasions together. Even for those dating online, never fail to do something special for each other on dates like Valentine's Day, Birthdays, Christmas or Anniversaries. Never forget a date. Write them down or better yet, set an alarm for all important dates and plan your special date.
One important key to keeping a relationship stable is the kindness between couples. Remember not to annoy each other. If something you want to say will only cause distress and would not do anything good at all, it is best not to say it anymore. Try to please your partner, and I don't just mean sexually.
People have many needs, physically, mentally and emotionally. Be sure not to neglect any of these aspects all throughout your relationship. Develop your friendship and your intimacy. Being a kind friend and a kind lover to your mate would help you balance your relationship well.
Be each other's strength
No matter how compatible a couple may be, there are times that the individuality kicks in. Support decisions of each other even if they are not fully understood. If something that your partner does makes him or her happy, it would help your relationship if you are supportive. Know your partner and accept everything, whether it is good or bad. You partner will love you even more if he or she sees that you appreciate what he or she does. Be your partner's strength and depend on your partner for moral support as well.
Think for two
Reminisce the early years of your relationship and smile. Watch your old videos and talk about the funny moments you had. This brings back the feeling of courtship even if it was decades ago. Also, plan for the future and always pattern it in a way that you are both in it. That way, your partner knows that you want to grow old together.